I challenge readers of my blog to look at this article and not throw their hands up in the air, a la Mr Badger of Libri Cricket Club.

I love the game of cricket, and I’ve even been known to watch the odd fixture of 20/20 in my time. I also heeded the warnings conveyed by Barry Richards at a speaking engagement during the Oval Test a few years ago where he warned that international cricket was in grave danger should India wave its financial wares at the world. Now, as i have oft stated, the country that pooh-poohed 20/20 at its inception is now its biggest proponent and the muscles are being well and truly flexed. When you read that the game is going to be the subject of “time-outs” and that the TV companies need to cram in 33 minutes of advertising per game, you know the tail is well and truly wagging the dog.

So the IPL starts on Saturday. I have the Setanta Sports package and I’ll watch it (a) if there is nothing else on and (b) if the Beloved lets me. That is, I won’t be watching a lot. Even when I was a single man last year and the prospect of a game a day was mine, I cared little. They all became the same. After a few months, it seemed, someone one who had a drug cheat in their team, a New Zealander bashed a silly score in the first game, and a couple of Indian players had a lover’s tiff. Was there anything else to it?

These aren’t the bleatings of a sore loser, sad that the prospect of playing IPL cricket in April in the UK was not one that appealed to the Indian powerbrokers. It is the moanings of a man who can see when a competition runs on too long. They should get the 8 or 9 teams together, each team playing every day or so, so that there are three/four games a day and the whole thing should be wound up in a fortnight, tops. No. This accursed abortion of a tournament runs on longer than the Mousetrap. 59 matches over the space of six weeks. It is bloody overkill.

The World Cup football tournament is held every four years for a reason. It has 64 games and is over in a shorter period of time. It captures the world because it is SPECIAL. Because you have to wait four years for it. Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke for two have told the IPL “no thanks” this Summer, because the Ashes are special. KP and Freddie are going over to fill their coffers and while I don’t really blame them, I (and many others) won’t be chuffed if they claim to be knackered any time soon, and certainly won’t be decking out the bunting should Freddie get injured again.

No. Stick the IPL where the mice can’t get at it. Hell, stick the World 20/20 there too (I am not going to be an avid viewer of that, either). Because of these nonsenses, we are playing the Windies AGAIN in our early season series (when they are due to come over next Summer as well, are they not?) and we are starting a test match on 6 May! Good God. The Ashes will be disposed of like a bag of rubbish at the end of the summer when it should be our shining light. The county 20/20 will gain in its eccentricity as teams are picked on the basis of who might be able to play in another 20/20 shindig that they might get into if people don’t go letting off bombs and stuff.

This 7 and a half minute automatic break will be brought to you by the New Delhi 20 Rothmans…..