Within the space of three quarters of an hour of watching this performance this morning, the Sky Sports team have raised my ire.

First up Insane was rambling on all morning, pre play, that Flintoff had to open the bowling. Flintoff has bowled 29 overs and taken one wicket. Never has one man been so hyped on the evidence of so little production. But, yet again, it is all about we should start with Fred. Ten minutes in, we haven’t started with Fred, and Insane says it is the only country in the world that if we had 142 overs in the innings, we wouldn’t see the spinners straight up. Oh, I’m sure he meant that we should have Fred and a twirler but he didn’t say that – it isn’t as if we have a Murali or Drug Cheat to take wickets, is it?

Now Botham is at his ADD best – why haven’t we got a spinner on, where’s Swann (innings wickets = 0), terrible we are waiting for the rain. It is clear as a bell he hates Strauss as the captain – it has been from the word go – but this is a flat pitch and when England played the West Indies the team couldn’t get an average Windies side out on flat decks, so what makes you think you’d get this Aussie side out? And now Botham is implying its a choice between England defending, taking their time, or running through them and we are choosing the former. Isn’t he watching? I’m telling you now, if we were in Aussie’s position Botham would be imploring England to put the hammer down as rain is coming and we need to take 10 wickets to win. I think Australia have been a touch cautious this morning. Keep it tight, make them take the chances and maybe the wickets will come… seems a good plan on a flat deck with a limited bowling attack.

Botham always has been the commentating equivalent of a screaming toddler. Fine all rounder he may have been but he was a crap tactitian, a dreadful captain and said he couldn’t watch a game without getting bored. Just about sums up Sky’s coverage.

Next – lets have a third man segment where we’ll compare Alastair Cook to Garfield Sobers. Ridiculous? Well Atherton just did it with Broad and McGrath. Next? Adil Rashid with Shane Warne?